one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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