Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
