Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize