Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
