I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
