I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
