he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
