I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
