He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
