Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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