Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
