Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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