Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
