Whod you bang
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
