As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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