So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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