well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
