Screwed.edu
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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