sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just forgot I was standing up.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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