i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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