Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
