on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
How's work?
Spinning.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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