Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
