Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
