how can u be prego again
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
