the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Even my vagina gasped.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
