Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
