Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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