So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
and she was petting her beer can
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
