Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it was like eating out sand paper
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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