The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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