I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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