I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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