i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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