how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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