oh god the rape fog is back!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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