I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize