Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
