i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
