Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
