but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
