Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
