I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
