Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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