i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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