every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
