so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
