I puked a lego.
i was born a porn star she said
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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