she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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