sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize