Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
