Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
is wine microwaveable?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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