Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
