If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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