the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
