9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
