There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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