Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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