he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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