That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
