check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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