are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
